


what they don't say

by fiction_before_reality



Series: All AoS, All the Time [14]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Gen, but like not as bad as she used to be, melinda may is a robot, stop after the first chapter if you want to remain happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 10:33:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30121410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiction_before_reality/pseuds/fiction_before_reality
Summary: Melinda May can't say that she loves someone. But she can say other things instead.
Relationships: Melinda May & Skye | Daisy Johnson
Series: All AoS, All the Time [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2127987
Comments: 3
Kudos: 27





	1. what they say instead

**Author's Note:**

> I know I promised some happier stuff, so if you want that, then read the FIRST chapter. If you want to read the bits that I rated this fic as M for, then read the second chapter too. It is sad and maybe a little graphic.

Melinda May doesn’t say, “I love you.”

She says, “Steady yourself.” Skye breathes deeply before she shoots at the target again.

“Step away from the computer, Skye.” May stands there with a threatening look on her face that would’ve terrified Skye even a few months ago. Now she just laughs.

“What are you gonna do, May?”

May’s face softens a bit. “I’m not going to do anything. I’m requesting that you go get some sleep.”

And really, what can Skye do but go back to her bunk?

Melinda May doesn’t say “I love you.”

May says, “Listen to me—just me. We can do this. _You_ can do this.” Skye’s terror rises with the unfamiliar power within her. She does what May would, and she ices herself.

When the base shakes in the middle of the night while Skye sleeps by Lincoln’s hospital bed, May rushes in to wake her. “I’m here, Skye. Control yourself.”

“ _I love you_ ” turns to “Find your center.” Like it always has.

Melinda May doesn’t say “I love you.”

When Skye— _Daisy_ now—spars with her, she critiques her. “Keep your hands up. Shoulders down.” May prepares her for a time when she won’t have her newfound powers to protect her. Tries to make Daisy as lethal as she herself is, but without all the sharp edges and walls.

“Your _powers_ didn’t make you an agent. I did.” _I love you_ , said in more words.

Lincoln is dead. Daisy is numb and May is there. “I love you” is said through the silence, through the warmth of May’s hand on her shoulder. It’s said through the cup of hot tea and the sandwich that sit untouched on the table in front of her.

Melinda May doesn’t say “I love you.”

She says, “That was suicidal. And stupid.” There is more bite in her voice than she thinks she has ever used with Daisy. It barely manages to mask the worry over her former subordinate throwing herself into a room full of men who want to kill her on purpose.

Skye knows that May can’t say “I love you.” May can’t hear it either.

So instead, Skye says, “Whatever happens, I can handle myself.” She faces down Grant Ward, the man that haunts her nightmares, with a cultivated levelness learned in hundreds of morning sessions of Tai Chi and meditation. She stares into his soul and sees him shiver as he recognizes the flat look.

Skye tells May, “I won’t hesitate.” All that time she spent searching for her parents, and she’s willing to kill Jaiying. She needs to protect her team. Needs to protect May.

In the Framework, May still doesn’t know Daisy’s true self. She doesn’t remember the outside world. So when Daisy wants to say “I love you,” she says instead, “You can’t blame yourself for their lies.”

Robin is dead and May is grieving that which hasn’t happened yet. Daisy cuts the sadness with a tinge of sarcasm. “You’d be that no phone, no tv, 7:30 curfew kind of mom.” And why does her heart ache a bit when she imagines that? Daisy imagines Robin getting to grow up with May as a mom, and all she feels is longing. A life she could’ve lived, had the world been just a touch different.


	2. when they do say it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When they finally say "I love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs for blood, death  
> Probably could've gotten away with the fic being rated Teen instead of Mature, but I decided to be on the safe side.

They don’t say “I love you” until the end.

There’s an explosion during a mission. May is lying there, bleeding. It seems like years that Daisy is kneeling in a pool of her SO’s blood.

Tears and sweat both drip from Daisy’s face down to the waterproof tac gear. Droplets roll down May’s heaving abdomen until they stop against the shard of metal the size of a dinner plate slicing into her side.

Daisy is powerless to do anything but grip May’s hand. What on earth is she supposed to do?

May’s eyes flutter open and closed so quickly that Daisy feels dizzy. She feels sick. But it won’t be long now.

There’s only one thing she can say. “I love you. I love you, May. You’re even better than any mother I could’ve wished or hoped or dreamed up.” She leans over to kiss her forehead, ignoring the sweat that beads there.

May manages to grit out, “I love you too, Daisy. You’re everything I wanted. I’m sorry I didn’t say it before.”

May holds on a few more moments, her chest rapidly rising and falling and all Daisy can remember is how Lincoln didn’t get the chance to finish those three little words. There’s one final, shuddering breath and then nothing.

The ground rumbles, and Daisy gives herself to the count of five of feeling her emotions and allowing her power to seep out of her. Once her time is up, she steels herself and stands, promising hell to whoever took May from her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come yell at me on Tumblr ([@fictional-before-real](http://fictional-before-real.tumblr.com/) ).  
> Or leave a comment below!!

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to remain happy, don't read the second chapter!


End file.
